feeling: an emotional state or reaction.
Once upon a time a few years ago a good friend of mine taught me a very important lesson about feelings that I had forgotten about until just recently.
I came across this post https://quietlysurrendering.wordpress.com/2015/05/05/when-it-all-began/ written by Kate over at Quietly Surrendering recently and the lesson came back into memory and hit me like a ton of bricks.
Jordan and I had been having a really good streak. He was leading I was following and life was good, like really good, until we had a minor disagreement. It was over something silly but it "hurt my feelings" and instead of just getting over it I held on to the hurt. I distanced myself and Jordan let me. We didn't turn to what DD had taught us to do and that night we found ourselves going to sleep like this...
Instead of our normal...
The next day we continued to be cold toward one another. Jordan didn't text me on and off all day like he usually does, he didn't kiss me when he got home from work, that evening we had conversation with the kids but not one another, he didn't touch me in passing or when I climbed into bed that night and he fell asleep without me again.
Soon I found myself sobbing in bed like this:
With Jordan snoring next to me oblivious to my distress.
I laid there with my brain running wild. Thinking that Jordan didn't love me and he must not want DD anymore because we were going to bed angry for the second night in a row and that our marriage couldn't survive if we went back to living this way. I couldn't live feeling unloved all the time or with someone who could turn their love on and off like a light switch. My mind went on and on. The tears continued to fall and I cried myself to sleep feeling like things between Jordan and I were awful.
Thankfully the next morning I came across Kate's post which stopped my rapid downhill spiral before I said anything hurtful to Jordan about any of these "feelings" I was having like I sometimes do when things "feel" this way.
The post reminded me that "it's only a feeling, feelings pass". That very important lesson my friend once taught me.
I felt unloved but if I had thought about it rationally I knew Jordan loved me very much. I made a mountain out of something silly. I needed to let it go which I did. I apologized. Jordan came home, he was loving and I felt as if everything was going to be ok again.
Have you ever let your feelings run wild?