Thursday, August 28, 2014

Maintenance is a......



After my last post I spoke with Jordan about my desire to start maintenance spankings in addition to our normal punishment spankings.

We discussed it for a while and Jordan stood firm that he was not interested in maintenance.

His reasoning is what we are doing is working well.

He is concerned that maintenance will get me “used” to spankings and punishments won’t be as effective.

Last but not least. Discipline is serious. Pleasure is play. Play is erotic.

So while I still don’t like punishment spankings we are experimenting more with erotic spankings and adding some D/s play into it.

I can’t complain… Actually… it has been pretty amazing.

Friday, August 22, 2014

I Don't Like Spankings Anymore

I used to like getting spanked. I fantasized about it for years before I finally confessed to Jordan that the thoughts of being spanked and dominated really turned me on.

After I told him my fantasy, he spanked me playfully from time to time. A few swats here and there mostly and some hard smacks during sex. I really liked what he gave me but I craved so much more. Confessing what I really wanted was too embarrassing so I took what I could get and left the rest to my fantasies.

Real spankings were only a wish until we were introduced to Domestic Discipline during our marriage counseling. I had never heard of DD before but the more I learned about it, the more it sounded so much like what I had always wanted.

When Jordan spanked me playfully in the past I always wished there was a reason for it. I wanted him to scold me when he spanked me. I wanted to feel “punished”. More importantly I wanted to feel forgiven, taken care of and loved. The thoughts of that got me hot.

After we started domestic discipline our sex life got so much better and more adventurous. We tried things that I had never even thought of before. At first we had sex almost every day.  Prior to DD sex sometimes felt like a chore to me. I kind of felt ashamed of allowing it to feel good. I was brought up with the idea sex was dirty and for men to enjoy.

 Introducing spanking and domination into our lives brought my sexuality to life. I started reading a lot about DD which lead to reading spanking romances and blogs. I learned a lot and craved being spanked and dominated  and enjoyed sex so much more.

Spankings were supposed to be a punishment and avoided… but I craved them. They were painful but the feelings of being loved and cared for and extremely turned on by them  made the pain more than worth it. In time Jordan got tired of me “bratting” him into spanking me and then the spankings changed…

Although the spankings in the past came with a lecture and served a purpose to deter a negative behavior they had always had an erotic feel to them. When Jordan spanked he would position me OTK or over pillows on the bed. He would caress in between sets of smacks. He often sent me to the corner and admired his handiwork as I stood naked with my spanked bottom bared to him.  His fingers would wonder and find my wetness. Sometimes they would even find my backdoor and he would test my submission. Those spankings always ended with intercourse that was hot and intense.

Now punishment spankings are very different. They are not sexual and I definitely try to avoid them. Which is the point of DD after all right? Jordan uses the tilt wand. He tells me how many lashes I have earned. He orders me to undress and get into position. I either lay on my stomach on the bed or bend over the edge of the bed. I can never make myself comply with his commands so extra strikes are always added. (You think I would learn because he always follows through with the promised additions.) Finally I assume position and he spanks. The strikes are painful and I find it very difficult to maintain position. Jordan often makes me count each strike out loud. When it is finally over he offers comfort and sometimes I thank him for his consistency and discipline by pleasing him orally.

Sounds perfect to many of you I’m sure. It is perfect for DD. I know he is doing everything perfectly. Text book punishment spanking but it isn’t how I imagined it. It isn’t how I thought it would be. It is Jordan’s version of punishment. It is effective. He is fair. I always deserve the spanking and he even lets a lot slide but I miss the old spankings. I miss the hot sex after the spankings.

So I have asked for maintenance spankings. I asked for them to be done in the old way with some erotic aspects added back in. Since it isn’t a punishment really, I asked for sex to be allowed afterword’s. I think if it serves as a reminder of who is the boss and what our roles are it will still put me in a submissive mindset. I will still feel loved and taken care of and It will make it easier for me to maintain my role in-between punishments. (Hopefully it will lessen the need for punishments.) And we will have hot sex and reconnect on a regular basis.

I hope Jordan wants those moments back too and I can crave and enjoy spankings once again.

Monday, August 4, 2014

The Submissive's Role During Punishment Spankings


Saturday night my bad attitude earned me a punishment spanking. Once again I totally sucked at submitting to it. Jordan was beyond frustrated afterwards. I asked for this. I wanted him to lead me... to lead our family. I agreed to him spanking me when I get out of line, but when the time comes I panic.

I got the spanking even though I fought it the entire time. When it was over I knew it wasn't effective; so did Jordan. He was angry and he said, "You need this and I will spank your ass every time you misbehave but until you do your part and submit to your punishment it will never help."

WOW!!! Those words gave me a lot to think about.

Yesterday I spent sometime soul searching and internet surfing looking for some answers... some clarification to the truth about what Jordan had to say and I came across a great article. Read it yourself here

After reading the article I had a better understanding of what Jordan meant. It is his responsibility to lead and provide correction when needed but I have a responsibility too. My responsibility is to completely submit to each punishment once he has determined that it is needed.

* Instead of attempting to get out of the spanking, I need to apologize for what I did to deserve it and sincerely feel remorseful.

* Instead of  defying him when he tells me to undress or to get into position, I need to obey him willingly.

* Instead of feeling panicked when it is time to be punished, I need to take deep breaths and relax. I need to remind myself that Jordan would never hurt me and remember just how much my bottom can really take without any lasting damage.

* Instead of trying to get away and protect my bottom from the spanking, I need to concentrate on why I am being spanked and how I can avoid it in the future.

* Instead of feeling angry after the spanking,  I need to allow him to comfort me and forgive me like he wants to.

* Instead of complaining about the spanking afterwards, I need to thank him for it.

Easier said than done when your bottom looks like this after the spanking!!!

But I will try harder and next time when he reaches his hand out to lead... I will be strong enough to follow<3

Friday, August 1, 2014

Saturday Spankings Blog Hop

This is my first Saturday Spankings Post:) I'm super excited to be dipping my toes into the author world. Enjoy a tiny peak into my first ever novel, "To Love, Honor and Obey." This is a work in progress and is subject to change.

To Love Honor and Obey is based on a true story. It tells a tale of a married couple, Jordan and Lillyanna Rose, who are enduring some marital discord.

Jordan walked out on Lilly over six months ago. After numerous attempts to resolve their issues on their own with no progress Jordan decided it was time to call it quits. Lillyanna was too stubborn and she wasn't going to compromise on anything.  He was ready to file for divorce.

Lilly was devastated. She wanted her husband back but she wasn't going to let him tell her how and what to do. She talked Jordan into trying Christian marriage counseling believing that the pastor would surely take her side.

Lilly and Jordan are both shocked when Pastor James suggested that they adopt a Domestic discipline lifestyle. The pastor recommends that Jordan starts spanking Lilly’s bottom if she disobeys or becomes disrespectful. He ensures them that Jordan taking control of Lilly will quickly end their discord.

Will Jordan spank Lilly? Can Domestic Discipline save their failing marriage?

Lilly knew Jordan had his belt in his hand. She heard the telling sound of the clinking buckle as he unbuckled it and the slither of him removing it from his pants. It was a sound she’d heard hundreds of times, although Jordan whipping her with it had never crossed her mind before this moment. This time she knew Jordan intended to spank her and it was terrifying. The thoughts of the pain the belt would cause when it met her bottom for the first time was horrifying. Lilly’s heart was pounding in her chest. She could feel the sweat beading on her body. She wasn’t sure she could do this anymore.

I hope you enjoyed your sneak peak:) Comments and constructive criticism are welcome. Enjoy the hop and check out all the other authors.