I used to like getting spanked. I fantasized about it for years before I finally confessed to Jordan that the thoughts of being spanked and dominated really turned me on.
After I told him my fantasy, he spanked me playfully from time to time. A few swats here and there mostly and some hard smacks during sex. I really liked what he gave me but I craved so much more. Confessing what I really wanted was too embarrassing so I took what I could get and left the rest to my fantasies.
Real spankings were only a wish until we were introduced to Domestic Discipline during our marriage counseling. I had never heard of DD before but the more I learned about it, the more it sounded so much like what I had always wanted.
When Jordan spanked me playfully in the past I always wished there was a reason for it. I wanted him to scold me when he spanked me. I wanted to feel “punished”. More importantly I wanted to feel forgiven, taken care of and loved. The thoughts of that got me hot.
After we started domestic discipline our sex life got so much better and more adventurous. We tried things that I had never even thought of before. At first we had sex almost every day. Prior to DD sex sometimes felt like a chore to me. I kind of felt ashamed of allowing it to feel good. I was brought up with the idea sex was dirty and for men to enjoy.
Introducing spanking and domination into our lives brought my sexuality to life. I started reading a lot about DD which lead to reading spanking romances and blogs. I learned a lot and craved being spanked and dominated and enjoyed sex so much more.
Spankings were supposed to be a punishment and avoided… but I craved them. They were painful but the feelings of being loved and cared for and extremely turned on by them made the pain more than worth it. In time Jordan got tired of me “bratting” him into spanking me and then the spankings changed…
Although the spankings in the past came with a lecture and served a purpose to deter a negative behavior they had always had an erotic feel to them. When Jordan spanked he would position me OTK or over pillows on the bed. He would caress in between sets of smacks. He often sent me to the corner and admired his handiwork as I stood naked with my spanked bottom bared to him. His fingers would wonder and find my wetness. Sometimes they would even find my backdoor and he would test my submission. Those spankings always ended with intercourse that was hot and intense.
Now punishment spankings are very different. They are not sexual and I definitely try to avoid them. Which is the point of DD after all right? Jordan uses the tilt wand. He tells me how many lashes I have earned. He orders me to undress and get into position. I either lay on my stomach on the bed or bend over the edge of the bed. I can never make myself comply with his commands so extra strikes are always added. (You think I would learn because he always follows through with the promised additions.) Finally I assume position and he spanks. The strikes are painful and I find it very difficult to maintain position. Jordan often makes me count each strike out loud. When it is finally over he offers comfort and sometimes I thank him for his consistency and discipline by pleasing him orally.
Sounds perfect to many of you I’m sure. It is perfect for DD. I know he is doing everything perfectly. Text book punishment spanking but it isn’t how I imagined it. It isn’t how I thought it would be. It is Jordan’s version of punishment. It is effective. He is fair. I always deserve the spanking and he even lets a lot slide but I miss the old spankings. I miss the hot sex after the spankings.
So I have asked for maintenance spankings. I asked for them to be done in the old way with some erotic aspects added back in. Since it isn’t a punishment really, I asked for sex to be allowed afterword’s. I think if it serves as a reminder of who is the boss and what our roles are it will still put me in a submissive mindset. I will still feel loved and taken care of and It will make it easier for me to maintain my role in-between punishments. (Hopefully it will lessen the need for punishments.) And we will have hot sex and reconnect on a regular basis.
I hope Jordan wants those moments back too and I can crave and enjoy spankings once again.