Saturday Spankings: Hilton spanks Savannah

 

Thank you for stopping by. I'm going to apologize in advance, now that summer is here and both kiddos are home 24-7 I have very little time for writing and blogging.  So, sorry for the lack of comments and posts. They are only little once so I want to make the best of these days and get back to writing blogging in the fall when they are both at school ALL day:/ My babies are growing up too fast!

Today I am going to share an excerpt from my new release "Savannah's Surrender."

 

 

 

You can also get your copy now here:

 

 

 

 

 

Savannah's Surrender is based on a true story. It tells a tale of a married couple, Hilton and Savannah Fields, who are enduring some marital discord.

Hilton walked out on Savannah over six months ago. After numerous attempts to resolve their issues on their own with little progress Hilton decided it was time to call it quits. He was convinced that Savannah was just too stubborn and she was never going to be willing to compromise on anything. It wasn’t what he wanted but he had tried everything to fix things, finally reaching his breaking point he told Savannah he was filing for a divorce.

Savannah was devastated. She wanted her husband back but she wasn't going to let him tell her how or what to do. She talks Hilton into trying Christian marriage counseling as a final attempt to save their crumbling marriage. Savannah’s confident that the pastor will show Hilton the error of his ways.

Hilton and Savannah are both shocked when Pastor James suggests that they adopt a Domestic Discipline lifestyle. He instructs Hilton to become the head of his household and recommends that he starts spanking Savannah’s bottom if she disobeys him or becomes disrespectful. Pastor James ensures the couple that Hilton taking charge of their marriage will quickly put an end to their discord.

Will Hilton spank Savannah? Can Domestic Discipline save their failing marriage?

This week I decided to choose another scene from Hilton's point of view. He is in the mist of spanking Savannah over pillows on their bed.

 

 

Done with the belt I roughly squeezed and caressed Savannah’s striped globes. I allowed my fingers to brush over her private parts again. She moaned loudly and her entire body shuddered. Apparently she was enjoying this, her pussy was dripping wet. I was pleasantly surprised. I continued rubbing her bottom giving her a break from the spanking. I was so turned on I needed to touch her sexually. I could not fight the urge. I poured some cool lube down her butt crack and fingered her pussy in and out repeatedly. It felt so good to be inside her. She was so tight. Apparently she had been a good girl while I was gone.

 

 

Nice of Hilton to mix some pleasure with the pain:)~

 

Make sure you stop by and visit all the other Saturday Spankings!

Leave a comment too, let them know you were there:)

 

 

 

 

How About We Do This... Then This... Then This...

Sometimes Jordan and I like to “sext”.

We like to keep things fresh and fun in the bedroom. It’s an important part of our relationship.

Last evening Jordan was out. I was feeling naughty.

I knew exactly what I wanted him to do to me.

Rather than text it all out I sent him four picture sexts...

 Do this....

Then this…

Then this…

 

His response???

“Well damn!!!”

The end result???

Exactly what I wanted :} Exactly how I wanted it 8)

My response...

Pure Bliss!!!

I think I've discovered a new "love language" of how to get exactly what your looking for in the bedroom :)-

Feel free to test my theory! Just be sure to let me know how it goes 8 )~

I Don’t Like Your Attitude….

 

“Lillyanna, I don’t like your attitude. I think it’s timed we fix it.”  Jordan scolded. “Your patients just aren’t there Lilly.”

It took every ounce of submission I had not to laugh and roll my eyes at him. This was the third day in a row Jordan had commented on my “attitude”. Nothing had been done about it up until this point and I didn’t expect tonight to be any different. The evening continued as usual. My attitude was gaining force as the hours passed by. My mood was sassy and sarcastic and other than a few warning glares Jordan took no action.

After the kids were asleep I entered our bedroom to turn in for the night and I found Jordan sitting on the edge of the bed. Beside him I saw various implements. He opened his arms for me to come to him. I stood in the door way out of his reach.

“I don’t want a spanking anymore Jordan,” I hissed. “This whole DD thing is a joke!” I walked over to my side of the bed and got in. Typically I lay on my side but I needed to protect my bottom just in case so I was on my back.

“You don’t decide when you get a spanking Lilly,” Jordan said sternly while turning himself towards me in the bed. “I am the boss around here!!! I think you may have forgotten your role! Now I suggest you make a good choice and position yourself for a spanking!.”

I knew he was right. I needed a spanking. I needed to be reminded of my role. I needed it three days ago! My submissiveness wasn’t there and I was angry about his inconsistency. Jordan doesn’t play fair. He lets me get way out of control before he intervenes. I’ve told him I needed him to step up sooner. Act as soon as he notices an “attitude” problem. So in my mind it was his fault I was acting this way.

“Ok Lillyanna Rose. Have it your way. Now instead of a reset you will be punished,” Jordan scolded as he stood retrieving something from our drawer of toys.

Before I even realized what was happening he was on his knees next to be trying to turn me over to spank my bottom. I resisted as much as I could.

“OK,” He snarled. “You want to fight me… then we will do it this way,” he growled as he lifted both my legs with his chiseled arms.

 

“No!!!” I cried out. “Not like this. I promise I will turn over Jordan. Please!”

Jordan had me in the diaper position and it was humiliating.  I never saw it coming. I had no idea he even knew a thing about this position. I pleaded with him while he rained sharp slaps all over my taught bottom. My pussy was exposed to him and he spanked that too.

When he was satisfied with the warm up he caressed my warm cheeks, ran his fingers along my slit and commented about how wet I was.

Sometimes I hate how my body betrays me. I didn’t like it. I shouldn’t  have been wet!

“Since this is now a punishment Lilly, you will not be permitted to cum,” Jordan said happily. “But that doesn’t mean that I won’t bring you to the brink… repeatedly, he giggled. “I love this position. Such perfect views of that wet pussy and hot ass.”

Jordan relentlessly teased my pussy fingering me in-between spanks and caresses.  When I neared my peaked he covered my bottom thoroughly with strikes of the leather paddle. The sting was so much more severe than I was used to with my bottom stretched taught the way he was holding me. It didn’t take long for me to start squirming and pleading with him to stop.

Suddenly I felt three harsh whacks with the tilt wand across my sit spots. Quickly I felt the paddle being rubbed over my sore cheeks again.

“Lillyanna you know better than to squirm! 10 more and keep still or you will get three more with the twister and we will start the 10 over.” Crack… “Do you understand me?”

“Yes sir,” I whined but remained still. Tears started running down my face and I lost count. I was relieved when I felt his hand caressing me. Suddenly two fingers thrust into my pussy fucking me in and out. The fingers slid out and Jordan rubbed the wetness on my puckered bottom hole. I clenched instinctively and immediately felt three hard strikes from the tilt wand across the center of my bottom. Soon his fingers returned and I relaxed for him.

Jordan alternated between fingering my pussy and circling my bottom with my wetness. Almost reaching my peak he entered my bottom and began stretching it. Soon the finger was replaced with our small rubber plug and he fucked my bottom in and out with it repeatedly.

“Oh my God Lilly this is so hot!,” Jordan panted. “I think I may come just from touching you,” he said as he rubbed the wooden spoon over my bottom patting my pussy and rectum.

Suddenly I awoke to the sound of the alarm. Unfortunately it was just a dream. Looks like today will be attitude day #4…..

Will they ever understand just how much we love, crave, need spankings?

Things have been going well in the Rose household. Super busy but in a good way.  The kids are back in school and between school work and all their extra activities sometimes life feels like a whirlwind.

 

DD is still with us… lingering in the shadows.

 

I think I have finally come to understand the statement, “DD is just something we do. It doesn’t define or consume us.” At times it feels like an obsession… like the only thing I can think about. Right now it is just something I know is there and I kind of like it this way.

 

I needed to take a break from reading, writing and living domestic discipline. The time away has helped.

 

I have been very well behaved 8)  No sass, no disrespect, no bratting, no nothing and I’m proud of that! That’s the goal of DD isn’t it?

 

Unfortunately being well behaved means there haven't been any spankings.. and I miss spankings... I think :)-

 I've tried to hint that since I’ve been so good I deserve a “good girl” spanking. Meaning an erotic sensual hand spanking with groping and caressing and wandering fingers in between… and hot passionate sex afterword's.

 But... Jordan just isn’t taking the bate. 

 Sex has been happening but it's been vanilla.

 

 

 Not particularly kinky like the naughty kind of girl like me  craves :p

 

 

So .... I decided to try to find a way to get Jordan to understand just how much I crave and love his dominance and spankings…. I think I’ve finally come up with a comparison that men can understand! Let me know what you think ;-)

 

Jordan,

 

You know how much you love blow jobs?

That’s how much I love spankings. Like you, I crave them and fantasize about them... a lot!

 

You know how much you like additional tongue action during a BJ?

That’s how much better a spanking feels with caressing and wandering fingers in between spanks. 

 

You know how much you like to hear me suck you?

That’s how much I love for you to talk to me like a “bad girl” and dominate me during a spanking.

 

You know how much you like me to suck your cock hard?

That’s how much I love for you to spank hard and make me take it even when I say to stop.

 

You know how much better the BJ feels when I play with your balls?

That’s how much better it feels when you tease my openings with your fingers in between spanks.

 

You know how amazing it feels for me to suck your balls?

              That’s how much more intense a spanking feels while plugged.

 

And you know how much you want to fuck me after a BJ and how incredible that post BJ sex feels?

That’s how amazing sex feels when you slam your cock in me and your body smacks against my hot sore spanked bottom.

 

And that my love…. Is how much I love erotic spanking:P

We're going to clear the air...

So, a few days after the "fall out" Jordan announced that we would "fix" things tonight.

After the kids had been sleeping for a bit I asked Jordan if he was ready to talk.

"What is there to talk about?" he questioned. "We are going to clear the air. Take your bottoms off."

Not what I expected! I thought we were going to talk about things. I made a split second decision to obey Jordan. (Typically he has to tell me many times before I obey :)- I've been trying to get better about that!) I took my pants and panties off. "Turn over." Thinking I was going to get a spanking, I obeyed. "Good girl." (I love when he says that :p) I heard Jordan rustling around in the toy drawer. I assumed he was retrieving an implement.

Next I felt his hand rest on my bottom. I instinctively clenched in anticipation of the first spank. Instead I felt cool lube being poured on my crack. I wanted things to be better. I didn't want things to feel tense anymore. So, I didn't resist as I typically do. I felt him rub our small rubber plug up and down my split. "Good girl Lilly. Take a deep breath in.." and I felt the burn of the plug fill me. Then I thought either play time or spanking would come next. Jordan patted my bottom over the plug and said, "stay put."

Jordan returned to his side of the bed and proceeded to watch TV. A bit confused I did my best to be still. It felt like he left me that way for a long time. I'm not sure exactly how long it was. It felt almost like corner time to me. Besides position it was almost the same. Remaining in position exposed in front of my HOH until he gave me permission to move. I spent the time reflecting on what had gotten us to this point and what I could do differently in the future to prevent it from happening again.

When Jordan was ready he moved to my side. "You are going to get ten lashes to Clear The Air and reset us. Be a good girl. Be still and count each strike."

Jordan spanked but not hard. Even with the tilt wand it was a very light spanking. Done with the 10 strikes he rubbed and spanked with his hand heating me up before bringing his hard cock to my wanting mouth. I sucked him eagerly while he swatted my bottom and played with the plug.

Nearing his peak Jordan positioned me over some pillows and took me forcefully from behind.

The remainder of the night was spent snuggled tight with the air cleared and our world righted again.

Here's to hoping it stays that way! Thank you all so much for your support and encouragement during our rocky period. Life won't always run smoothly... this I know <3

To Write or Not to Write.....

 

 

 

 

For the last several months I've been working on a book, To Love Honor and Obey. I decided that I was going to write a book and submit it for publishing. Now I've decided  maybe that isn't such a good idea... I participated in one Saturday Spankings Hop. Overall I actually got good feedback. Even some helpful feedback such as not using Jordan and Lilly as the names of the characters (even though the book is based on "our" story) it is not entirely accurate and using our names complicates things. So now the names are Hilton and Savannah. I've grown to like them :) The problem is.. I am no English major. I'm having some issues with "Tense" and dialogue. I'm also feeling so inferior after visiting so many authors and really paying attention to the way they write and not necessarily the story itself. So, I've kinda put the book on the back burner.

Today I was writing a post for the blog about a recent trip off the right track that I had and it quickly turned into a story. Over three pages in fact. So my question for you guys is.... To Write or Not to Write?

I'm going to post the story I wrote today. It is about Jordan and I. I wrote it from his point of view. If you have the time...  read it. Offer constructive criticism if you have some. But most of all let me know if this kind of thing is something you would like to read. Because, this is how I write. Thanks to all of you in advance:) Warning it does contain explicit sexual content. If that offends you please stop reading now.

 

 

Lilly De-rails

Somehow things had gotten off track. Lilly’s submissiveness and respect were sorely lacking.  I wasn’t sure exactly what had happened to cause her derailing but I knew that I had to get Lilly back on board.

I knew she was a little stressed, back to school week was always hard for her. She hated to let the kids go. I was sure not feeling well for a couple of days didn’t help the situation either but regardless, there was no excuse for Lilly’s sass and disrespectfulness.

I tried to be the nice guy and give warnings. First the stern look. Then the comment “Twister?” followed by “Your on thin ice Lillyanna Rose…”  and even a pulled pony tail with a few firm swats to her clothed bottom in the kitchen after a particularly sarcastic remark. Nothing had worked. I knew what I needed to do but I really didn’t want to do it.

Lilly’s last punishment spanking had resulted in a purple bruised sore bottom. It hadn’t been my intention to mark her that way but when she refused to submit she earned double the strikes I had planned. Twenty strikes with the twister was an obscene number. It had started out at ten. It was a similar situation to this actually. Lilly had simply gotten off track.  A firm spanking always did the trick so I decided 10 whacks were sufficient to rectify the situation. But when the time to spank came… Lilly refused to get into position, earning herself five additional strikes. The threat of the additional strikes still didn’t convince her to move so again I warned her if I had to physically put her in position I would add an additional  5 strikes. Lilly didn’t budge so I physically positioned her and she resisted the entire time. True to my word I brought the wand down twenty times, making her count each one, from mid bottom to the top of her thighs. We got through it but it was not something I ever wanted to have to repeat. Actually since I saw the bruising I had been reluctant to spank again. I had let things slide for far too long now though and Lilly was quickly  slipping out of my control.

I knew Lilly should have learned her lesson the last time and this time when I scolded her and ordered her to get into position she should quickly comply to avoid additional strikes. But… I know Lilly… I would tell her to bend over the side of the bed and she would stand there and look at me pleading with her big blue eyes for me not to follow through and punish her. She would stand there until the stakes were raised so high she had to move and the spanking would become much more intense than I intended it to be.

I thought about it all day. I wanted to do something different this time. I didn’t want to give her the chance to disobey me and I came up with a plan.

That night, like every night, Lilly put the kids to bed and then met me in the bedroom. She found me sitting on the edge of the bed which is not unusual. I opened my knees and held out my arms to her indicating I wanted her to come to the edge of the bed and stand between my knees for a hug. We did this often. I would hold Lilly tight and she would rub my neck and back. It was a safe move for her so I knew she would comply.

As usual I hugged Lilly and she began rubbing. I started talking to her about her attitude. “Lilly, I don’t know what has gotten into you. You are not the boss around here! I am and I will not tolerate your disrespect…” She stiffened a bit but continued massaging and I let my hands fall to her bottom and caressed gently as I lectured. “I don’t want to have to punish you but you aren’t giving me a choice,” I continued. “I’ve given you several warnings over the past few days and you have ignored them,” I said tightening my legs so she was trapped between my knees exactly where I wanted her. Now she did not have the chance to disobey. “Now you’re going to get your bare bottom spanked.” I lowered her pajama pants and panties as I spoke and turned her to the side. “Please don’t do this Jordan. I promise I will be good!” she begged as I guided her over my knee.

 Her upper body rested on the bed and I positioned her bottom high on my lap. I gently rubbed her cheeks helping her to unclench them and relax. “Be a good girl Lilly, you know you need this,” I whispered. As her cheeks softened I eased her thighs open a bit to improve my view of her pussy. My hand wandered lower between her legs and as expected her lips were wet. I rubbed the full length of her slit and she moaned. 

 

 

I began spanking with my hand steadily increasing the strength of each strike. As I spanked harder Lilly began to squirm and try to protect her bottom. I landed some harsh swats to her thighs trying to cure the problem. “This is just your warm up Lillyanna Rose. You lay there and take your spanking like a big girl and you will be rewarded continue resisting and you will be punished more,” I instructed.

Being the stubborn brat Lilly can be she continued fighting. Little did she know I had stashed some things right beside me under my pillow.

“You were warned!” I said and I poured some lube down her crack. “No Jordan! Please don’t. Not that!!!,” she cried clenching her cheeks tight. Yes this I said rubbing my finger down her lubed slit. “If you continue resisting I will use this,” I said showing her the new large plug that I recently purchased. Lilly gasped and her cheeks relaxed allowing me to gently probe her puckered hole. Sufficiently relaxed I teased her pussy with our small plug fucking her in and out before moving the plug to her bottom and inserting it.

I continued hand spanking her now plugged ass and Lilly remained still. No squirming or guarding. My large plug threat was effective. Sufficiently warmed up I retrieved the leather paddle and conducted the punishment part of the spanking. When Lilly bottom was evenly reddened, I gave each of her sit spots a rapid 10 whacks. I wanted her to feel the spanking when she sat down for the next several days. Having a sore bottom kept her respectful and submissive which is exactly what I wanted.

Lilly had tolerated the remainder of the spanking very well. She had attempted very little movement and her attempt at guarding her bottom form the paddle had resulted in having her bottom fucked by the plug. No further guarding occurred after that.

The spanking was over and I caressed Lilly hot cheeks and dipped down to her pussy. She was dripping wet and my finger slipped gently inside. Sex wasn’t usually a part of our punishments but hey, rules are made to be broken. After all Lilly had been a pretty good girl and taken her spanking well so she deserved a reward.

I stood her up. “Bend over the pillows,” I commanded. Lilly eagerly complied. There she was bottom thrust up, legs spread, pink plug peeking out from between her bright red spanked cheeks and a glistening wet swollen pussy. I had to fuck her.

Maintenance is a......

 

 

 

 

After my last post I spoke with Jordan about my desire to start maintenance spankings in addition to our normal punishment spankings.

We discussed it for a while and Jordan stood firm that he was not interested in maintenance.

His reasoning is what we are doing is working well.

He is concerned that maintenance will get me “used” to spankings and punishments won’t be as effective.

Last but not least. Discipline is serious. Pleasure is play. Play is erotic.

So while I still don’t like punishment spankings we are experimenting more with erotic spankings and adding some D/s play into it.

I can’t complain… Actually… it has been pretty amazing.

 

 

The Submissive's Role During Punishment Spankings

 

 

 

 



Saturday night my bad attitude earned me a punishment spanking. Once again I totally sucked at submitting to it. Jordan was beyond frustrated afterwards. I asked for this. I wanted him to lead me... to lead our family. I agreed to him spanking me when I get out of line, but when the time comes I panic.

I got the spanking even though I fought it the entire time. When it was over I knew it wasn't effective; so did Jordan. He was angry and he said, "You need this and I will spank your ass every time you misbehave but until you do your part and submit to your punishment it will never help."

WOW!!! Those words gave me a lot to think about.

Yesterday I spent sometime soul searching and internet surfing looking for some answers... some clarification to the truth about what Jordan had to say and I came across a great article. Read it yourself here

http://rncblog.blogspot.com/2007/06/essay-preparing-for-punishment.html

After reading the article I had a better understanding of what Jordan meant. It is his responsibility to lead and provide correction when needed but I have a responsibility too. My responsibility is to completely submit to each punishment once he has determined that it is needed.

* Instead of attempting to get out of the spanking, I need to apologize for what I did to deserve it and sincerely feel remorseful.

* Instead of  defying him when he tells me to undress or to get into position, I need to obey him willingly.

* Instead of feeling panicked when it is time to be punished, I need to take deep breaths and relax. I need to remind myself that Jordan would never hurt me and remember just how much my bottom can really take without any lasting damage.

* Instead of trying to get away and protect my bottom from the spanking, I need to concentrate on why I am being spanked and how I can avoid it in the future.

* Instead of feeling angry after the spanking,  I need to allow him to comfort me and forgive me like he wants to.

* Instead of complaining about the spanking afterwards, I need to thank him for it.

Easier said than done when your bottom looks like this after the spanking!!!

But I will try harder and next time when he reaches his hand out to lead... I will be strong enough to follow<3



A Great Read...

A very wise lady recommended that I read a book called, "Spank Her" by Devlin O'Neil. It was a great book and I really appreciate her recommending it! The book explains the man's view of TTWD. We practice domestic discipline and erotic spanking and I didn't know a lot about TTWD but it turns out it can mean many different things. Anyways the book helped me understand a lot of the feelings that I have had for a very long time. At times I felt as though he could read my mind. I also shared the book with Jordan. Hopefully he will read it and learn some things about me/us too.

As an update about Jordan and I. I did not call dd quits. I've promised myself I won't withdraw consent. I know that DD is what I truly want and it makes me happy. We will take things one day at a time and with or without spankings we will make things work. I did get spanked. I didn't submit as gracefully as I would like to be able to. I did not refuse and I think if I would have I would have only gotten it worse:)-

Thanks to everyone who offered their prayers, kind words and advice. I truly appreciate it:)

Until next time,

Lilly

Considering calling DD quits….

There is trouble in the Rose household. Inconsistency to the max! I have called the dynamic off a few times in the past because of similar circumstances like this. I promised myself I wouldn’t quit this time…. I just don’t know if the disappointment is worth this… I know it isn’t worth it.

There have been no spankings. Many threats of lashes (spanks with the tilt wand) even some you’re getting _ lashes but never with any follow through.

Have you ever been told you’re going to get spanked? - Sat in bed waiting for the kids to go to bed dreading the pain but longing for the emotional release and reconnection. And then your HOH goes to sleep… and you never get the spanking. Have you ever pushed all your HOH buttons just to try to get him to “Do something about it’!, But nothing happens…

These things have happened multiple times in the Rose household recently. In the past when this started to happen I quit right away. The emotional pain is torturous. Every time this happens (Jordan doesn’t follow through with a spanking or I push and he ignores it) I question my reason for even wanting this DD dynamic in the first place. I feel ashamed at myself for needing/wanting my husband to spank me. I am embarrassed that I feel so rejected because my husband didn’t do it. I feel unloved and invisible because despite my pushing his buttons in an attempt to feel his authority he isn’t reacting.

Communicate with him, that’s what all my fellow bloggers say I need to do. I’ve warned them that Jordan and I don’t communicate well but I’m so angry and I really need him to know how I feel so I take their advice. I send Jordan an email because I know if I try to talk to him he will shut me down. I know I won’t get to say the things I need to say.

I tell him I’m pushing because I need to feel him stop me. I let him know how hurt I am about the spankings he promised but never followed through on. I tell him I feel like he isn’t paying attention and I’m feeling out of control, invisible and unloved.

Jordan doesn’t understand. He gets angry. He says I’m never happy. He says he could give me the moon and the stars and there would still be something he missed. He is vanilla. He thinks I should be happy he didn’t beat my butt but I’m not happy and I wish he would.

I cry. I’m still crying.. I think I want to quit but know how empty I feel when I do. I’m not sure what to do. I’ve decided that when he decides to spank me I’m not going to let him. I've decided I need to learn not to need this.

This is “real” DD not the fairytale. It isn’t perfect. It hurts and not just from the spankings… and to be honest right now, I don’t think it is worth it.

Secret "Code" Phrases

Last evening we were outside hanging out with the kids. Jordan asked told me to do something. I thought it was something he should have just done himself and I mumbled under my breath as I walked away...

Jordan: "Lillyanna come here!"

Lilly walks slowly back towards Jordan and stands in front of him.

Jordan: "Did you say we need to go upstairs?"

Lilly: "No Sir"

Jordan: "Oh that's what I thought because I'd be happy to take you up there."

Lilly walks away and does what he asked her to do in the first place.


So many thoughts go through my head in this very quick couple of sentences.

#1. I feel annoyed about what Jordan told me to do. I'm annoyed because I believe it is just a test. A test of my submission, he told me to do it just to see what I would do.

#2. I fail the test miserably by doing what he asked but with a major attitude.

#3. Jordan calls me back to him.

#4. My heart sinks. I think I am in big trouble!

#5. Jordan gives me a chance to change my attitude.

#6. I am relieved that I haven't already earned a punishment spanking.

#7. I think about what happened last time Jordan sent me upstairs....

I was washing dishes and arguing with Jordan. The kids were in the playroom. Jordan came up behind me and puts his arms around me and whispered in my ear. I tried to resist but it is unsuccessful. Jordan whispered "Lillyanna Rose(as soon as he calls me that I know I'm in trouble)... I want you to go upstairs in our bedroom. Bare you bottom and stand in the corner. While you are standing there I want you to think about what you could have done differently that wouldn't have resulted in this spanking you are going to get."


I don't dare defy Jordan. I have already learned that lesson. He will make it worse! It can always be worse.....
I go to our bedroom bare my bottom and stand in the corner. Forehead touching the wall, legs spread a little more than shoulder apart, hands clasped at the small of my back and bottom stuck out. Just like Jordan had taught me.


While I stand there I think about a lot of things. It feels like forever. For one I think about how this has never happened before. Jordan saves punishments for after the kids are in bed. What will he do with the kids when he is upstairs spanking me? I also think about how he will spank me and what he might use to do it with. Last I think about how I wish I had responded to Jordan respectfully... How I wish I wasn't standing in this corner.


Jordan enters the room and sits on the bed. I feel him staring at me standing bare butt. He says "Lillyanna, Do you know why you are being punished?" I don't answer. In a harsher tone Jordan says, "Lillyanna Rose answer me know!!! Why are you being punished?" "Because I spoke to you disrespectfully and with an attitude," I reply. "That's exactly right! Bad choice... Come here Lilly," Jordan grumbles.


I walk to him avoiding eye contact. Jordan stands and positions me leaning over the bed. He warms my bottom quickly with quick sharp spanks with his hand. He stops and rubs and gropes and squeezes my punished cheeks. "I will not tolerate your destructive behavior Lillyanna Rose. I will not hesitate to send you right back upstairs," Jordan scolds. He sends me back to the corner.


I am relieved but surprised that the spanking is over. I stand in the corner. I expect Jordan to go back downstairs but I can feel him staring at me. I can tell that he is on his phone. "I don't know what it is going to take for you to understand that I am serious about this Lilly. When will you learn that I will not hesitate to blister your butt?" I hear Jordan say. He is walking towards me.


I feel the plastic tilt wand across both my hot globes. My cheeks naturally tense and he taps the wand against my thigh and says "do not clench." "10 lashes Lilly count them" Jordan instructs. He starts about 1/3 down my cheeks and brings the wand down across both globes at the same time. I hate the tilt wand! It stings so bad. "One" I count. Jordan continues skillfully down my bottom striking just below the previous lash all the way down my buttocks and upper thighs striping it perfectly. It takes everything in me not to move out of place and continue to count.


It is finally over and Jordan turns me around and hold me tight. He lightly rubs my spanked bottom while he says, "I set the alarm on my phone for fifteen minutes. You will stand in the corner until the timer goes off. Then you will join us down stairs with a better attitude." Jordan swats my bottom and leaves the room.


I complete my corner time thinking about how lucky I am that Jordan and I have adopted this Dd relationship and how in the past we would have carried on this disagreement for days. Not speaking to each other and growing further and further apart. I feel loved and taken care of and submissive. I return downstairs with a different attitude and a plan to "thank" Jordan later that night.


#8 I do the task he asked me to happily without an attitude.


Funny after one time of sending me upstairs... just the threat is enough to correct a bad attitude. I wonder how long it will take until I need a reminder? :)- What "code" phrases does your HOH have for you?

Status Quo

First I want to thank all of you who welcomed me to the world of blogging:) I am excited that my blog has reached over 120 hits. Pretty exciting! I have also enjoyed reading many of your blogs too and have done my best to say hello and introduce myself.

As far as DD goes things are “status quo”. I haven’t been feeling well (I have a chronic autoimmune disease) and that kind of puts things on hold for Jordan. Sometimes when I am sick is when I feel like I really need DD the most! It isn’t easy to maintain a submissive mind set and positive attitude when you’re experiencing a lot of pain. Unfortunately, Jordan usually ends up taking the brunt of my frustration. Sometimes I lose my patience with my kids which I feel super bad about: / So those are instances where I wish Jordan would step in and “help” me cope better with the pain and not feeling well. He disagrees though.

So, thankfully I am feeling better and I text Jordan if we could reconnect last night with some maintenance and some play time. He didn’t respond:| We did get a chance to reconnect last night though. We watched a movie together (Blended, it was a cute movie) and then reconnected romantically <3 It was wonderful of course but I was a little disappointed that we didn’t get back on track with DD.

I even broke a “rule” last night. Jordan scolded our son. He cried (he is very sensitive) and I got upset with Jordan for making him cry. I told him he should have used a softer tone… No punishment just a scolding for myself for interfering with his parenting.

I really need to accept that Jordan gets to decide when to spank and when and if he wishes to punish. Easier said than done!

The Twister

The Twister

Yesterday I did something Jordan didn’t like. I was putting groceries away and he was sternly telling me never to do that something again. I was telling him I would do it again if I wanted to and then he got quiet. Quiet usually means trouble so that isn’t good.

We went outside to play with the kids for a while after the food was put away. I was angry with Jordan. He asked me a question and I didn’t answer which lead him to tell me to lose my attitude. We were outside and he didn’t say it quietly and I didn’t want anyone to hear anything so I did my best to play nice.

We recently purchased a badminton set and we were trying to teach the kids how to play. They were easily distracted and soon Jordan and I found ourselves on each side of the net with rackets in our hands. Jordan said, “Here’s your chance Lillyanna Rose. You’re getting 20 lashes tonight for your disrespectful behavior. If you can beat me in this game we will forget about them. At first I was angry because I didn’t want 20 lashes or any lashes for that matter! But, Jordan was serving and I wanted to at least try to get out of the punishment so I did my best to try to win. The game was fun. A few times we were tied but Jordan won.

The playfulness eased the tension over the disagreement and the punishment was forgotten until I put the kids were asleep. I knew once they were sleeping the “twister” (tilt wand ) was coming out and I was getting 20 lashes. 20 lashes with the twister is a lot!!! I haven’t been doing very well with submitting to spankings so I tried to psych myself up and get in the submissive mindset to just obey Jordan and do what he tells me to but it didn’t work :/

Jordan got out of bed to make sure the kids were sleeping and came back in the bedroom and locked the door. He got the twister and told me to take my panties off but I couldn’t move. Jordan’s voice got increasingly stern but I didn’t budge. Then he grabbed my arm and brought me to the edge of the bed. ( Not sure how to get better at this part? Any ideas? What do your HOH’s do if you don’t obey their commands? ) I removed my panties, got in position and buried my head in the bed.

Jordan rested his hand on my bottom. He said, “you are getting 10 strikes. You will count each one. Do you understand Lillyanna?” “Crack” “When I tell you not to do something you say yes Sir. You do not tell me what you are going to do. If you do we will end up back here.” “Crack” I shot up trying to protect my butt. Jordan gently pushed me back down. “I don’t hear any counting Lillyanna Rose! We are starting over.” (Crack) One (whack) Two (Swat) Three please stop Jordan it hurts too much! (Crack) four (Swat) five (Whack) Please Jordan you’re hurting me. (Swat) six “That’s the point Lilly. Spankings hurt” Jordan says. (Whack) (Whack) (Whack) seven, eight, nine Oww Jordan oww please stop (Craaaaaack) ten. Then Jordan rubbed and spanked each cheek with his hand.

I did an awful job submitting to the punishment. I feel really bad about that. The sting in my bottom was intense but faded fast. Jordan held me in bed but I didn’t really even want to be held. He wanted me to pleasure him and I did but it wasn’t like it normally is after a punishment. Usually I feel super close to Jordan after a punishment and the intimacy after a spanking is usually intense. I know he could tell things weren’t the same but he didn’t do or say anything. After pleasuring him instead of snuggling with him I got on my side of the bed and faced the wall.

Maybe the spanking wasn’t enough. The twister is intense and I was so focused on just getting through the pain. I didn’t allow myself to submit to Jordan. I never got to the point that I was sorry for what I said. I didn’t reach the point of just accept the spanking I deserve it. Today my bottom isn’t sore. I don’t have that just spanked high. He gave me what I wanted. I wanted this DD relationship and this time I feel like I failed him.

Really Low Lows

Not sure how or why this happens… Super high highs and really low lows. Why do I go from feeling loved, cherished and cared for after a spanking to questioning if Jordan even loves me when it has been awhile since a spanking or intercourse? I don’t even understand myself, I certainly can’t expect Jordan to understand me.

Confused

Jordan spanked me only seven days ago. A “real” spanking. A punishment spanking. So, I can’t understand why I am already longing to be over his knee again. Truthfully I don’t understand why I want Jordan to spank me at all. Honestly I feel pretty ashamed by it.

I don’t like punishment spankings. I get very panicked before Jordan punishes me. I continue to struggle with preparing for punishments and staying in place for spankings. I, like most spanked wives, love the feelings that being punished give me. I like feeling loved, cherished, safe and taken care of. I love what it does to our relationship. I love how we always feel reconnected and “in love” after a spanking.

Jordan and I were having a big fight before my last spanking. We spent some time giving one another the silent treatment, went to bed angry and ended up text fighting. I feel very insecure about my relationship when things aren’t going well between Jordan and me. After the spanking I felt like in an instant everything had changed. Prespanking Jordan was angry and disappointed in me. I was frustrated and angry with him. Post / during spanking I felt Jordan’s love for me and those bad feelings were gone.

I didn’t cry from the spanking but my bottom was very sore and I was in a very submissive state of mind after the punishment. Jordan held me tight right on his lap. I felt loved cherished cared for even thankful that he had punished me. A sore bottom was a small price to pay to end the destructive feelings that we were having.

Often after spankings I have a strong desire to please Jordan. Intercourse is not allowed immediately after punishments because Jordan doesn’t want me to associate the pain of a spanking with the pleasure of intercourse. He feels it would defeat the “try to avoid” punishment purpose. I am allowed to pleasure Jordan though and I often pleasure him orally to thank him for “leading” me.

I pleasured Jordan after my last punishment. Then Jordan and I snuggled and watched some TV. Jordan asked me to rub his neck and I did so happily. After the massage Jordan held me tight and we went to sleep. In the morning I heard Jordan’s alarm and I woke up with him and we talked and snuggled in bed. Jordan had to work that day and I truly missed him while he was gone. My bottom was still sore and when I sat down I was turned on. I wanted Jordan inside of me. I sent him naughty text messages throughout the day.

When Jordan got home from work I met him excitedly at the door. I made him one of his favorite dinners and deserts. He helped me with the finishing touches in the kitchen. We flirted playfully and Jordan fondled my bottom every chance that he had. We worked together to get things picked up and we put the kids to bed as a team.

As soon as the kids went to bed I gave Jordan a nice back massage without him asking and he rewarded me with some passionate love making. Things felt wonderful between us and we were happy.

As time passed I feel like things are slipping back to the norm. Jordan tells me to do something and I resent it. I fall asleep when Jordan’s watching TV. Intimacy is average and I feel as though sometimes pleasuring Jordan is a chore. I have a bad attitude and respond to him with sassiness. I don’t have the eagerness to please him. How can things change so fast? I don’t understand. I want things to feel good again. Unfortunately I don’t know anything other than a spanking that will do the trick.

Jordan also noticed the change in my attitude. He came right out and asked me if I needed a spanking last night and he was giving me the you’re on thin ice “look” frequently. I even thought he might even spank me for my attitude last. I don’t want a spanking though. I just want the feelings that come along with a spanking back.

Am I crazy? Should I already need to be spanked again? Do any of you have similar feelings?