A very wise lady recommended that I read a book called, "Spank Her" by Devlin O'Neil. It was a great book and I really appreciate her recommending it! The book explains the man's view of TTWD. We practice domestic discipline and erotic spanking and I didn't know a lot about TTWD but it turns out it can mean many different things. Anyways the book helped me understand a lot of the feelings that I have had for a very long time. At times I felt as though he could read my mind. I also shared the book with Jordan. Hopefully he will read it and learn some things about me/us too.
As an update about Jordan and I. I did not call dd quits. I've promised myself I won't withdraw consent. I know that DD is what I truly want and it makes me happy. We will take things one day at a time and with or without spankings we will make things work. I did get spanked. I didn't submit as gracefully as I would like to be able to. I did not refuse and I think if I would have I would have only gotten it worse:)-
Thanks to everyone who offered their prayers, kind words and advice. I truly appreciate it:)
Until next time,
Lilly
Lilly, good for you! Hope things keep getting better and better.
ReplyDeleteHugs and Blessings,
The Man read that book, and I read How to get the Spanking you want. Both are very enlightening. I am hopeful that Jordan will come to the same conclusion as the Man. The Man doesn't understand my need but he likes the results. It has been quite a process and sometimes, he spanks me harder than he likes because it's what I need, and he likes the end result.
ReplyDeleteHi Dana:) I will have to look for "How to get the spanking you want." "Spank Her" was really an enlightening read! I am not comfortable with some of the feelings and wants I have. Helped me to understand some of the needs I have and it definitely showed me I'm not the only one with this need to be spanked. It is encouraging that The Man read the book! Jordan isn't a reader but he has read stuff for me in the past. So one can hope.. Jordan is also pleased with the end results of spankings. He has become fond of swats with the twister for punishments. They are very painful... but quick and fade quickly. It isn't enough for me. Hopefully he will notice the results aren't the same and add more to the swats. Not additional swats lol. But you know more hand spanking or paddle. Some thing that lasts. Thanks for stopping by:)
DeleteWise? That sounds OLD...Or owl-like. Regardless she's not wise, unless you mean a wise-a$$. I am very happy you found something worthwhile in that book. I know a little piece of my personal puzzle felt like it fell snugly into place after I read that book and it helped Barney too. It didn't miraculously change him over night, but it did start to strengthen his foundation.
ReplyDeleteGeorge is right though, GOOD FOR YOU. First off you put yourself out there on your blog with your last post. You looked for encouragement and advice. You deciphered it and took what you thought you might be able to use- and no I don't mean just the book. It would appear that you have made the best decision for you and your relationship. And you know, submission isn't always pretty. A wise man ( because he made me feel better...lol) just told me that submission in those situations means more to men ( or some men). Who knows?
Good luck Lillyanna, and turn to us when you need to.
willie
Thanks Willie! I didn't mean to make you feel "old" lol. But I do value your advice. One day at a time... and I will certainly turn to all of you good or bad;)
DeleteSo glad you decided to keep going with DD! We all either have been there or will be there in the future, when we reach a moment where we feel that it would be less painful to give it up altogether, rather than stick with it.
ReplyDeleteSounds like the book gave you some great insight into TTWD. Keep at it, girlfriend. It's about the effort, the ride, and the journey.
DD is not easy... it helps to know most of us have been there. I've read about those times on many blogs and it has really helped. I'm doing my best to try and let Jordan lead his way. It is very hard not to get upset when his choices don't match what I think he should do but it is life. One day at a time. Thanks for your encouragement Autumn:)
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