Thursday, April 9, 2015

H is for...



Honesty:  refers to a facet of moral character and connotes positive and virtuous attributes such as integrity, truthfulness, and straightforwardness, including straightforwardness of conduct, along with the absence of lying, cheating, theft, etc. Furthermore, honesty means being trustworthy, loyal, fair, and sincere.


I believe honesty is essential to any marriage with or without domestic discipline. I will admit that prior to DD I often withheld information from Jordan. I would be deceitful about how much money I spent shopping or if I loaned someone money. That kind of thing. Jordan and I have always maintained our own separate accounts so keeping those secrets was not difficult. A few times somehow Jordan discovered my dishonesty and it caused some major arguments between us. Jordan has had his fair share of secrets too.

While we were coming to our DD agreement we discussed honesty in depth and we were both in agreement that for things between us to get better we had to commit to being completely honest 100% of the time.

This is the section of our DD contract that addresses honesty:

    Dishonesty: No LYING or any form of dishonest communication or behavior. No withholding information from HOH.
     There have been a couple times since we began DD that I have been tempted to withhold information from Jordan basically because I knew he would be disappointed in whatever decision I had made and I didn't want to be punished. Thankfully Jordan is okay with me texting him or sending him an email when I need to tell him something that is hard for me to say in person. Being able to write what I need to say truly makes being honest much easier for me. It enables me to say everything I need to say without interruption. I am much better at communicating that way. I shut down when I'm scared to say something in person. Jordan reads what I have sent and makes his decision about how to handle it from there. Sometimes he spanks and sometimes after I have explained myself, he just talks to me about it. I am very grateful that Jordan is fair with his punishments.
      Our DD contract only specifies rules and consequences for me. It does not contain rules for Jordan but I am comfortable knowing that Jordan feels accountable to God to maintain his honesty and knowing how strongly he believes in leading a Godly life I have complete trust in him. 
There are many forms of dishonesty out there.
How does honesty fit into your DD / TTWD agreement?
Do you struggle with being truthful when you know telling the truth will get you punished?


  1. Hi Lillyanna, I can only agree with what you wrote. Honesty is so important in a marriage. And it is something that can be practised. Holding back information is something that has happened here too (a few times), but it creates a bad conscience in me, so I do tell hubby and my major lesson is that it is best to go and tell immediately. Any sort of punishment is so much better and easier to cope with than the disappointment I could cause if I did not tell.



    1. Hi Nina, I get that guilty consciousness thing too! Honesty is always the best policy:)

  2. Hi Lillyana, I agree, honesty is vital in any relationship. It isn't always easy and I'm glad you have found a way to communicate to Jordan when you need. I think putting it in writing is a great idea. It gives you both sone time and space to think things through.


    1. Thanks Roz:) writing is always easier for me!