Monday, April 20, 2015

Q is for Quit



Jordan and I have started and stopped DD a few times during our journey. Sometimes it has just faded away. At least twice I've said, "I quit."
I read about this kind of thing on blogs all the time unfortunately :(
For us I believe the on again off again is because Jordan isn't as invested in DD as I am. He likes the results. Wants the submissiveness and obedience but doesn't really buy into the need for discipline or punishments. When times are tough Jordan lets everything slide until I get angry and rebel. Then he reaches his limit and wants to punish and I refuse because we haven't been doing DD and in my mind we aren't doing it anymore.
Ultimately his HOHiness kicks in. In truth it is what I want and so when he gives it.... its hard to resist. So the punishment happens. Things calm down and are smooth and then he lets things slide...
It is a vicious cycle, a bad merry go round that it seems many of us are on.
But after that last I quit, I vowed I would quit no more.
When it is good, as it is currently is, it is really good and if I said I quit it wouldn't be being truthful with myself or Jordan because when he is ready to step up I ultimately bend over.
So, when I write it all down and really think about it... DD is always there, it is now a part of us. The part that varies is how quick Jordan is to respond. When there is a delay I feel the loss and assume DD is over but should I push hard enough I am sure to "feel" that it has just lying dormant.  

1 comment:

  1. We also took quitting off the table, and it's actually been a relief for both of us. We remain committed even through the hard times..and there are plenty of them :) Great post, glad you and Jordan are in a great place!