I think, for most of us submissives, in TTWD there is an underlying uncertainty. A constant feeling of questioning this whole thing that can easily be brought to the fore front by many things.
Maybe you write a post about breaking a rule and someone comments, "You are an adult. You shouldn't need rules." A thought you've probably struggled with yourself over and over again. But it works for you and your dynamic, right? So if it isn't broke why fix it. Do what works for you. Easier said than done I know. But the fact is we question ourselves.. we are uncertain.
Maybe you are reading a blog and someone makes a post that says, "We don't do discipline spankings here. Discipline spankings are for naughty children." Does it make you question your DD dynamic? For me it does. One because it feels like a judgment to those who do do punishments and two because of my own uncertainties of why I need this and if I should just suppress my desires and be "normal".
One of the biggest uncertainties that plagues me in TTWD is... Does Jordan even want to lead? Does he want a submissive wife? Does it matter to him? and every time we have a period of inconsistency these uncertainties haunt me. That is why his reassurance and role affirmation are so important to me.
I certainly can't expect him to understand me when I don't understand myself though. The poor guys gotta be confused!